I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i came on her dog
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
