she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
