i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
