is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
