it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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