i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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