There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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