I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize