mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Barsexuality is the new black.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Randomize
