I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
