i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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