I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
