Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
