ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
