I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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