is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
