Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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