nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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