people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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