So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize