my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
How's work?
Spinning.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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