He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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