there was a trapeze. enough said
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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