saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
