If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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