I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
