you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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