she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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