Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
