Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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