i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
