I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
