I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
