I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you would pick up someone in the library
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
