Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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