so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
