dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
