I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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