i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
