I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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