hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I did not marry a roomba.
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