I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize