Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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