Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
