she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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