Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm bleeding and have questions
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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