Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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