i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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