Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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