it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
false alarm, still single
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
