I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
