think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
