Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
