Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so that wasnt chicken after all
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
