Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
