Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
