we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
