Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
