Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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