...so i touched it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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