I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Actions speak louder than pants.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
