HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
