i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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