Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I intend to get homeless drunk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
