you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
